Cupboard Love.........
(This poem is written in old 'Wiltshire' dialect)


Joe Powell round by Maningford Were out one day a-walkin'.
When he caught up wi' Martha Lamb; An' here's how they got talkin'
"An' w'ere be you gwain, Martha Jane? You do look smart to-day!"
"Oh! I be off to Pewsey Veast, Just vor half a day."
"Med I walk wi' 'ee, Martha, 'cause I be a-gwain ther' too?"
"Ca'st if thee bist mind to, Joe, Road's wide enough, snaw you!"
"I'm vond o' thee, snaw, Martha Jane, I likes thy pretty vace!"
"Lar, go on wi' thy vlatterin', An' keep thy proper place!"
"The place what I ood like to have, Is arm-in-arm wi' thee,
Ther' beant no place I knaws on, wher' I ood zooner be!"
"If I were 'lowed to court thee dear, vrom thee I'd never vlench,
Because thee bist a dabster cook, An' a main hard-workin' wench.
I've chucked up courtin' Sally Marsh, Her were a featish good un
I med ha' married her - but her's No hand wi' viggy-pudden!
Her maade I up a sample duff - I took'n vor me nuncheon;
But t'were poor stuff, zo dry an' tough, it maade my chops ache munchin!
I wants a good cook, Martha, that Is why vor thee I'm makin'
Vor I'm main vond o' viggy duff, To go wi' greens an' bacon!"
"Ah! Cupboard Love!" quoth Martha Jane, "Thic zart won't do vor I
Bezides thee bist too fat be half, Zo, I wish thee 'Good-bye'.
No wench wi' sense will marry thee, If her can vind another
An' a chap as on'y wants a cook, Should bide long wi' his mother!"
That proper cut Joe Powell's comb, An' - mad as zome wild beast -
He stomped off back the way he'd come, Not on to Pewsey Veast.

Author unknown